Am I Still A Catholic?

I grew up in an orthodox Catholic home.  I attended Catholic grade school and even a Catholic high school. In short, my parents spent a great deal of time and effort ensuring that my mental, social and spiritual education would be the best. 

Then life happened, and it caused me to question so much of what I’d been taught.  As soon as I was old enough, I stopped attending mass and receiving the sacraments. Though remnants of the teachings remained, in many ways, I moved far from my religious roots.

Through the years I joined the army, met my husband, married and gave birth to a beautiful little girl.  Strangely, from a want to give her the best of everything, I found myself searching until I located the perfect little parish school. Then she too attended a Catholic grade and high school. 

Then one day, while  talking to a priest, he asked me if I was a Catholic.  I told him I’d been born and raised a Catholic.  He found my response curious, and asked again.

 I said, ‘Of course I’m a Catholic!’ 

He queried further.   ‘Do you attend regular mass?’ 

 I responded Well…no.’

‘Do you go to Confession?’

Again I said, ‘Uhm…well, no.’

‘Do you receive Holy Communion?’

And again, I said, ‘No’.

His response?  ‘ Then you are not a Catholic.’

I said, ‘But I am! I have been baptised Catholic, went to school, know the sacraments…my whole family is Catholic!  I just don’t practise the faith.’

And he said, ‘Exactly.’

His words left me feeling afraid…maybe even as if I stood on shifting sand…but he was right on multiple levels. 

This conversation took place about 25 years ago – it’s still relevant today. A friend and I played out a largely similar conversation this evening.  After shocked  consideration, she agreed that in all actuality, she is spiritual by personality and choice - she, like me, is no longer an actual Catholic.

And interestingly, I heard another friend comment that they were ‘a medium’ – since birth – it wasn’t just what they did – it was who/what they were.  That comment brought back the conversation with the priest so many years ago.

Humans have a need for placement and identification – it’s grounding and connecting.  The self protecting ego state demands a sense of belonging. So it’s a bit scary to shift away from the established standards which offer us individuality while still providing  membership to some grouping.It’s the best of both worlds.  ’I AM’  is  followed by a noun of some sort…. a  mother, a manager, a teacher, a wife, a friend, a sister, a Catholic, a medium, a reiki practitioner…Irish…tall…rich…smart…wealthy…

In reality, all of these identifications are transient operating facilities to our earth plane experience.  

What are you? Maybe this is one of those situations where less can be more.  Maybe… the sentence is complete at  I AM.

Blessings,

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